What to Say When Someone Offers You a Drink

💡 Insight

You don't owe anyone an explanation for not drinking. But in the moment, when someone hands you a glass or asks what you're having, it helps enormously to have something ready to say. Improvising under social pressure is hard. Rehearsed lines take most of the pressure out.

A few approaches that work, depending on the situation.

1. The simple no.

"No thanks, I'm good." Said casually, with no apology, this ends the exchange most of the time. Most people aren't paying as much attention to your drink as you fear.

2. Have something in your hand.

The easiest refusal is the one you never have to make. Get a soda water with lime, an iced tea, or a non-alcoholic beer as soon as you arrive. A full glass stops most offers before they start.

3. The plain truth, briefly.

"I don't drink anymore." Or, "I stopped a while back — feeling a lot better for it." You can say as much or as little as you want. Short and matter-of-fact tends to get the same response back.

4. The practical excuse.

"I'm driving." "Early morning tomorrow." "I'm on a health kick." These are fine, especially at work events or with people you'll never see again. You aren't obligated to disclose your recovery to anyone.

5. For the people who push.

A small number of people will keep at it — "Come on, just one." Their persistence usually says more about their relationship with drinking than about you. Repeat your answer once, calmly, then change the subject or walk away. If someone keeps pushing after a clear no, that's useful information about how much time to spend with them.

---

✦ Quote

"The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself."

— Michel de Montaigne, Essays, "Of Solitude" (1580)

---

◎ Prompt

Choose your line now, before you need it. Say it out loud three times so it feels natural in your mouth. Then decide what you'll order the moment you walk into the next event.