People often describe relapse as something that came out of nowhere. One minute they were fine, the next they were drinking. But looking back, most can trace a longer path. Physician Steven Melemis, in a widely cited 2015 paper, describes relapse as a gradual process with three stages, and the drink or the drug comes only at the end.
The first stage is emotional relapse. You aren't thinking about using, but you've stopped taking care of yourself: bottling up feelings, isolating, skipping the things that support you, sleeping and eating badly. The second is mental relapse, where part of you wants to use and part of you doesn't. You start romanticizing the past, thinking about people and places connected to using, bargaining — maybe just on vacation — and even planning how it could happen. Physical relapse, the act itself, comes last.
The earlier you catch the slide, the easier it is to stop. In emotional relapse, the fix may be as simple as sleep, a real meal, and an honest conversation. By mental relapse the pull is stronger, and it's time to reach out for help directly. Learning your own early warning signs is one of the most practical things you can do.
✦ Quote
"'How did you go bankrupt?' Bill asked. 'Two ways,' Mike said. 'Gradually and then suddenly.'"
— Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises (1926)
◎ Prompt
Write down your personal early warning signs — the small things that tend to change a week or two before you're in trouble. Share the list with one person you trust and ask them to tell you if they see it.
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