Yesterday was about how family members can help someone they love. Today is about the family members themselves, because they're often the least cared-for people in the story. Partners, parents, and children of people with addiction commonly live in a state of chronic stress: waiting for the phone call, checking for signs, managing crises, hiding the problem from others. Their own sleep, health, friendships, and plans slowly fall away.
It happens gradually and with good intentions. When someone you love is in danger, focusing on them feels like the only responsible thing to do. But a person running on empty can't think clearly, can't set consistent boundaries, and can't sustain help over the long haul. Recovery, when it comes, often takes years. You need to still be standing.
Caring for yourself means taking the same basic steps you'd want for anyone: sleeping, eating, seeing your own doctor, keeping at least one part of your life that has nothing to do with the addiction. It can also mean finding support of your own — a therapist, a family group, a friend who understands. None of this is abandoning the person you love. It's making sure there's a steady person left for them to come back to.
✦ Quote
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare."
— Audre Lorde, A Burst of Light (1988)
◎ Prompt
If you love someone who is struggling, name one thing you used to do for yourself that you've let go of. Put it back on your calendar this week, and don't cancel it.
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